


Mingyu's Diary

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Diary/Journal, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Sick Character, meanie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 19:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12348846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Mingyu write all of his stories in his diary, where all of his happy and sad moments can be read.





	Mingyu's Diary

**01/03/2017**

It’s the beginning of new term today! I’m so excited to go to school to reunite back with my friends. I spent almost half of my break in hospital so i rarely have chance to meet my buddies... but it’s okay, now i can meet them!

I’m also happy for another reason.... i got to meet Wonwoo! He looks so good and more mature when he gave a speech on stage today. Being a council president really makes him looks wayyyy more cooler.

Can’t believe i have been crushing on him for 2 years now. I still remember the first time i met him, i was lost while finding my way to physics laboratory and so i tapped on his shoulder asking him for help. He took it to extra mile by walking me to the laboratory instead.

I asked for his name because i want to thank him, was shocked for a bit because he’s actually a year older than me! He’s smaller than me so i thought we were the same age haha.

I can’t forget his face at that time. He has a very piercing eyes, cotton white skin and a slender body. I guess you can say i fall for him at first glance?

But we never talked to each other again after that. He’s a very popular student in our school and looks intimidating so i was too afraid and shy to approach him :(

But it’s okay, crushing on him from far is enough for me.

Here’s to a good year for me! hopefully my condition will get better and i can survive high school without any problem :D

till next time!

ps : hopefully Wonwoo will have a good year too.

 

**07/03/2017**

So today an embarrassing thing happened to me.

As usual, i was walking to the cafe with my friends, Minghao and Seokmin. They keeps bickering with each other so i just let them be. I was too hungry to mind about them.

Then we saw Wonwoo and his friends, Jihoon, Jun and Hoshi eating at one of the table.

Minghao and Seokmin, they knew about my crush on Wonwoo so they planned to do something to make Wonwoo looks at me. So being a good friends they are, they tripped one of my leg on purpose so that i will fall in front of them.

But being a clumsy person i am, i accidentally pushed this girl that’s walking next to me. She was carrying her tray of food at that time.

So what happened? her glass of orange juice got splashed on me.

I swear i never heard the loudest laugh ever from Minghao and Seokmin. They both are devils in disguise!

I was so embarrassed so i keeps looking down all the time. I glanced at Wonwoo and i noticed that he and his friends were laughing too.

There goes my image in front of him :(

 

**09/03/2017**

I think god of luck must loves me so much today.

Wonwoo is in my art class! :D

He chose art as his elective this year and imagine my face when i entered the art room and see that he was there, sitting in front.

I walked quietly to my seat, avoiding his attention because the memory of the cafe incident suddenly appeared in my mind.

I keep looking at him throughout my class that i can’t even focus on what our teacher asked us to do, haha.

By the way, he looks so good today, he styled his hair differently and his focusing face is so cool!

Still can’t believe that i have the chance to be in the same class with him this year.

2017 has been good so far~

 

**18/03/2017**

Went to the doctor appointment today.

Did the usual check-up and all.

The doctor said there’s no improvement regarding my condition.

They counseled us on trying another form of treatment since the current one didn’t work for me.

I glanced at my mom when we were hearing the doctor talking, she looked so worried.

This is what i hate the most, seeing them getting stressed because of me.

God, please let me live well.

 

**27/03/2017**

Wonwoo talked to me today :DDD

well, we only had a short conversation but it was so memorable!

So in art class today, we had to sketch our favourite inanimate object. While i was drawing, Wonwoo came to me and asked me if i can lend him an eraser.

I was so startled that i keep quiet for a second before i realized he was waiting for my response. So embarrassing...

He then took a look at my sketching and said that mine looks good!

I said thanks to him and we proceeded to talk a bit about art.

Ahh hopefully i can converse more with him next time ^^

 

**06/04/2017**

Today is my birthday! yeayyy

But sadly i wasn’t feeling well today so i had to stay home to rest :(

My parents bought me a new Macbook and chocolate cake from my favourite bakery. We celebrated it last night when the clock turned 12.00 AM.

They wished me a good, happy year ahead and for my health to get better. They also thanked me for being born.

I wished the same for myself too and thanking them for giving birth to me.

And i think i saw mom shedded her tears a bit.

Since i can’t come to school today, Minghao and Seokmin came to visit me after school!

They brought me few gifts and muffin from convenient store so that we can do another little celebration.

By the way they kept pressuring me to confess to Wonwoo.

Said that if i act too late, someone else will snatch Wonwoo from me.

I told them it’s impossible for me to do, what if he rejects me? i don’t even know whether he was straight, gay or bisexual.

They told me that i was thinking too hard and i should just do it without hesitation. Said that i have nothing to lose.

Hmm maybe i’ll consider it.

 

**10/04/2017**

I did something unthinkable today.

Like, really, out of blue decision.

I made some chocolate treats last night. Wrapped it nicely and put a small bow on it.

And then i put it in Wonwoo’s locker.

What was i thinking???

I thought, i was too nervous and shy to confess to him so i will just do it like this.

By the way, i didn’t state my name there, so Wonwoo will thinks that it was another fan girl of him that gave him that chocolate.

I was so scared someone will notice when i went to Wonwoo’s locker. I have to tip-toed and make sure no one else was there, haha.

Hopefully Wonwoo will enjoy the chocolate that i made with love (◕ᴥ◕)

 

**20/04/2017**

Another wonderful thing happened today!

When i was heading to cafe today, Wonwoo said hi to me!

We’ve been conversing with each other in art class lately. Usually we will talk about art things, or general topics.

But today it’s the first time we talked outside of art class (✿ヘᴥヘ)

He said he hasn’t seen me for awhile now in school.

Yeah, i’ve been missing school for few days because of my health. I had to be hospitalized for a few checkup.

I only told him that i wasn’t feeling well, then he asked me to take care of my own health better with a concerned expression.

Ahh this is why i like him, he’s so nice and caring towards everyone.

Please stay that way, Jeon Wonwoo~

 

**05/05/2017**

I fainted in school today.

I was walking to our next class with Minghao and Seokmin when suddenly i feels dizzy and restless.

They helped to carry me to the infirmary. The nurse on duty called my parents since she knew i have poor health condition.

My parents came to pick me and brought me to the hospital immediately.

The doctor told us that my condition has gotten worsen and that maybe even the new treatment they tried on me won’t work.

The only option right now is to get a surgery. To remove the tumor from my body.

But it’s too risky, high chance it won’t work

And if it didn’t work, then i will.....

I sighed when i heard that, mom was crying and my dad tried to console her.

I can only look down, clenching my fist. Trying to hold my tears.

I’m sorry, mom and dad, for being a burden to you guys.

 

**08/05/2017**

Today, in art class, Wonwoo said something interesting to me.

He said my personality is so puppy like.

i asked him why?

He said because i always looks excited everytime i talked about my passion.

I blushed, didn’t know he had that kind of impression about me.

He laughed, and i almost told him that he’s beautiful.

Because, really, that’s what he is. An ethereal human being.

Somehow he made my day today, and makes me feel soo happy.

I have totally fallen for him.

 

**14/05/2017**

Today, i feel bored a bit.

So i decided to take a walk around my neighborhood.

My mom forbid it at first, said that my body is getting weaker nowadays and that i should just stay at home and rest.

But I insist, said everything will be fine.

And i’m glad i did, because i bumped into Wonwoo at the park today!

He’s on his way back from his tutoring session when he approached me. We went to eat ice cream together.

Talked about a lot of random things. He said he wants to be a professor someday. What a noble dream for him (•‿•)

I also told him that i love cooking, he jokingly said that he wants to try my cooking someday.

I just chuckled at that.

He also asked me why i look paler and thinner now. I only replied that my body is not in good condition.

He told me to always prioritize my health first before anything else.

I only give a nod and small smile in response.

By the way he was wearing an oversized hoodie with a skinny ripped jeans and a beanie. He looked so cute!!!! i almost wanna jump into him right there.

Today it’s as if we’re having a mini date and i’m so thankful for it (*≧▽≦)

 

**24/05/2017**

Today i heard an interesting news, Minghao and Jun are dating each other :D

Me and Seokmin, we’re so shocked when we heard that.

Minghao never told us that he likes Jun. He said they started contacting each other after knowing that they’re both from China.

I’m so happy for him! they both make a cute pair!

Minghao said he will wish for me to end up with Wonwoo just like him and Jun.

I can only laugh at that.

How i wish it’ll become true.

 

**01/06/2017**

It’s been a week since the last time i went to school.

I have to been hospitalized, again.

My body is getting weaker and weaker. I can no longer stand the pain that’s caused by the tumor in my body.

So i have to be warded to undergoes the treatment.

My doctor said he’ll discuss with my parents on when is the most suitable time to do the surgery. Said that time is running low.

He also told me that i might have to put my school life on hold, that i have to stay in hospital until the day of the surgery so that they can observe my condition and even after the surgery, i’ll still have to stay there until my health is completely better.

So i have to sacrifice a year of my high school education.

I was devastated when i heard that. That means i can no longer see Wonwoo since this year is his last year in school.

Life is so unfair.

 

**04/06/2017**

Minghao and Seokmin came to visit me today!

They brought me comics and my favourite fruits.

I’m so happy they came, we joked and laughed together and they almost got chased out by the nurses since they’re too loud.

They told me that they will wait for me to get better so that we can spend more time together.

Minghao also told me that Wonwoo asked about me in school, he’s wondering why i’ve been absence from school.

Minghao didn’t know whether i was comfortable or not not if he knows about my sickness so he told Wonwoo that i’m out of town because of family emergency.

That made me happy a bit since Wonwoo is caring about me (*^_^*)

 

**15/06/2017**

 

The surgery date has been decided.

It’s gonna be on next month and they have to start preparing me for the surgery.

I can see my mom was trembling when my dad sign the permission form.

We knew, this surgery will be too risky for me. But we had no other choice since almost all treatments that i’ve tried didn’t give a positive response on my body.

I hope this surgery will goes well so that i will no longer see my parents spend their money and getting worried because of me.

 

**19/06/2017**

Today i feel a bit better.

So my parents and i decided to go to school to clear my locker and meet my teacher to discuss with them regarding my situation. 

Since it’s lunch break at that time, i went to wait for Minghao and Seokmin after class.

They looked so surprised when they see me. I told them that i was there to clear my locker and say goodbye to them.

They’re sad. Seokmin even burst out few tears. I told them that they’ll be my senior next year and they laughed bitterly at that.

They both said i looked so thin. I just told them that it was a given because of my current condition.

I intended to also say goodbye to Wonwoo, since i might not be able to see him anymore after this.

I also planned to finally ask for his contact number. So that i can still keep in touch with him after this.

Minghao was a bit hesitant when i told him that i want to meet Wonwoo.

He mentioned that there’s no need for me to do that. He made me confused for a while.

I chuckled and said nah i’ll still do it, plus i wanna greet him since it’s been a while i get to meet him.

So i went the usual spot he and his friends always having their lunch.

When i get there, i now understand why Minghao tried to stop me from meeting Wonwoo.

It’s a normal situation, they were having their lunches together.

Except this time there’s a girl sitting next to Wonwoo. Her hand hugging Wonwoo’s waist. 

They were laughing together and Wonwoo looks so happy with that girl.

That girl is pretty. Really pretty. A suitable match for Wonwoo’s handsomeness.

I’ve never felt so heartbroken.

My heart was clenching and my head hurts.

I turned around without greeting Wonwoo. I dont think he even noticed me.

I walked back to my parents, trying to hold my tears.

Went back to the hospital, i started thinking why should i be sad? is it because i dwell on there might be a slight possibility that we can be together? of course we can’t. 

I’m a dying person looking like a living corpse while Wonwoo is an amazing human being with a bright future. 

and of course he would want to be with someone that’s just like him. 

But now i realized that i’m actually happy when Wonwoo’s happy. He got someone that’s perfect for himself so i’ll only pray for his happiness.

 

Not that we can be together anyway.

 

**26/06/2017**

Now that the surgery is getting nearer, there’s only one question in my head.

what if i die?

For sure my parents will be sad. I’m their only child.

My friends? maybe they will be sad for a period but then they will slowly move on and get over me.

I wonder if i die, will it give a big impact to people around me?

Will they think of me before they go to sleep?

I wonder if Wonwoo will still remember me then....

 

**30/06/2017**

I got a surprise visitor today.

It’s Wonwoo.

i was heading back from my chemotherapy session when i entered my room and saw him waiting for me.

Shock is an understatement.

i was embarassed to meet eyes to eyes with him because my current state is really not the best. I have to my wear a beanie to cover my hair loss and my face looked shrunken.

He told me he knew about my sickness because he kept pressuring Minghao to tell him. Said that it’s weird that i have been absent for months.

I asked him why he came to visit me and maybe my tone was a bit harsh since he looked taken aback.

He just told me because i’m his friend.

friend...

Somehow i feel glad that he actually considered me as a friend, eventhough we just started talking this year.

We didn’t talk much, since i wasn’t in my best condition today.

Before he left, i thanked him for visiting me.

He replied that he will pray so that my surgery will goes well.

There are so many questions i want to ask him to be honest.

i wanna ask him if his new girlfriend has been treating him good?

i wanna ask if his art class is doing well?

i wanna ask so much things.

But i’m a bit tired today.

 

**03/07/2017**

The surgery is tomorrow. 

I think i am mentally ready.

Sort of. 

Minghao and Seokmin has been visiting me more frequently lately, they keeps giving me all the support i needed and i’ve never been more thankful. 

They visited me again, and i voiced out my gratitude to them and they both started looking like a crying mess. 

Awkward situation, 3 teenage boys sobbing their hearts out together. 

I asked Minghao, how’s his relationship with Jun? he said they’re okay and he and Seokmin has been spending more times with Jun and Wonwoo’s clique. 

(Minghao also told me that Seokmin seems to has been hitting it off with Hoshi)

I was glad when i heard that, at least if i can’t make it through the surgery, they will have someone new to replace me. 

and i can’t be more thankful for my parents too. 

They have been dedicated their life for my health ever since i was diagnosed with cancer few years ago. 

All i want right now is that for me to get better so that we can live like a normal family. 

And they have been my biggest cheerleaders, always assuring me that i’ll be okay, that everything will be fine. 

The doctor came again today, he explained all the procedures, the consequences, the risks, and everything else. 

I have to start fasting tonight because the surgery will take place tomorrow morning. 

Wonwoo came again today, bringing me roses. 

He said he just wants to wish me well. 

I smiled to him, i don’t feel sad and heartbroken anymore. I’m just glad when he’s happy. 

Plus he has been nothing, but a nice friend to me so far, and i’m a bit touched on his dedication to visit me since we only started talking this year. 

I think i’ll confess to him if i survive tomorrow. 

His birthday is approaching and maybe i can tell him around that time. 

I know he will reject me, but i really want him to know about my feeling. 

Maybe then i’ll get the closure i finally need. 

 

\------

 

Mingyu is on the surgery bed, waiting for the anesthesiologist to inject the drugs into his capillary vein.

“alright Mingyu , i’ll count until 30. You’ll slowly get sleepy”

30,29,28,27....

Mingyu starts to feel lightweight. Suddenly all of his memories when he was a kid appear in front of him.

20,19,18...

Everything else around him looks like a blur. He flashed back to his birthday celebration, his day out to the beach with his parents. 

15,14,13,12...

He reminisces the day he found out about the cancer, the pain he had to went through all this time.

10,9,8,7...

All the images of the people he loves shows up, His parents, Minghao, Seokmin, Wonwoo...

3,2,1....

Slowly, Mingyu shut off his eyes.

 

 

_flashback_

 

_Mingyu walks in silence, he keeps glancing to his side, looking if anyone notices his movements._

_He stands in front of Wonwoo’s locker, contemplating again if he should give him this chocolate treats or not._

_He then decides he will, he opens the locker slowly, placing it inside._

_Mingyu walks back to his class, giggling, hoping Wonwoo will like his gift._

_What Mingyu didn’t notice is someone has been observing him all the time, from behind the pillar._

_and that someone is Wonwoo._

_Wonwoo only chuckles when he saw what Mingyu did._

_“he’s adorable” said Wonwoo with a big smile._

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been in my draft for a while and i was contemplating whether i should post it or not...
> 
> But here it is! my poor attempt on angst.  
> I'm sorry if the ending is a bit ambiguous? maybe if i have time i'll write a follow-up story to make it clearer.
> 
> English is not my first language, i'm sorry for any grammar errors or poor wordings.  
> Thank you for reading :D


End file.
